English Indigestion

Thanks to James, my embarrassment threshold is astronomical:

Thanksgiving Plungathon

James enjoyed his Thanksgiving weekend. On Thanksgiving Day he served himself large amounts of ham, stuffing and pumpkin pie. James repeatedly reminded everyone to eat stuffing. However, he did not catch on to the process of passing the food around the table. On Saturday morning James, our mom and I headed to Minnesota to see our niece, Evelyn (and her parents :)). Likely due to being off schedule, James was not the best traveler or house guest. This is where things get graphic...Venessa and I spent forty-five minutes plunging her upstairs toilet after James used an excessive amount of toilet paper. Of course, I left my plumber in Des Moines, and Jeremy wasn't home. James knew we were upset, so he got even more upset and started calling us a string of obscenities. The next morning he said, "I'm sorry I was rude to you." On the way home we stopped at a gas station with an arcade. James had to stop in to look for Wreck-It Ralph.   

James and his dog friend, Sadie.

Serve the ham and stuffing already...

Evie shows off her crawling skills.

Where's Wreck-It Ralph?

October Update

James is sad that his football season is coming to an end this week but is looking forward to putting his total focus into his Christmas list. Here are some highlights of the past month:  

Homework, always homework.

Supervising horse show preparation at the fairgrounds.

Performing uncle duties.

Go Hawks!

Birthday Love

James has always had an excellent memory for birthdays. His homemade card was my favorite:

Deceptive Advertising

A Dodge Ram advertisement came in Saturday's mail. James was crushed when he found out that the key attached to the advertisement was not real. He calmed himself down by starting his Christmas list a little early. 

Sidelined

James mysteriously injured his left knee on the sidelines of the East/North game last Friday. Although the athletic trainer couldn't find anything noteworthy, James had garnered the sympathies of his team and most importantly, female fans. After the game James only intermittently complained about his knee. When football was on TV, he even remembered to limp pathetically. We told him he was not going to be traveling to the Ottumwa/East game this Friday if he was hurt. Just as mysteriously as his injury appeared, he recovered.

Fall Kick Off

Last Thursday the East High football team started its season with the Fall Kick Off. James was introduced with the varsity team and got in for several plays with a little direction from his coach and teammates. James has been enjoying his upperclassman status on the football team. He told a freshman teammate, "You need a haircut."

James' coach gets him in position for the play.

A Rocky Start

After a fire destroyed Des Moines East High School's football pads, uniforms, helmets, and shoes less than a week before practice was to begin, the future of James' junior year football season looked bleak at best. When the situation couldn't look worse, support started coming in from all over the country. Amazingly, practice started as scheduled on Monday. Although James doesn't understand the severity of the circumstances, he does understand the importance of starting a football season with new cleats. This year they are scarlet, courtesy of a company in Ankeny.

Midwest Traveler

Still on a high from his trip to the Lake of the Ozarks and Branson last week, James headed to Minnesota on Friday with me and our mom and dad for a weekend with our niece, Evelyn, and her parents. During the drive James wanted everyone in the van to look at his brochures from his two favorite shows in Branson, Presleys' Country Jubilee and the Baldknobbers Jamboree Show (even the driver). Once we arrived James made himself comfortable and spent the rest of the weekend glued to the TV watching the Olympics. He was delighted to find that his favorite swimmer, Natalie Coughlin, was competing. James did find time in his busy schedule to read to Evelyn and whiz around the house with her safely strapped in her stroller. 

Electric Scare

Yesterday I checked out the AWAARE Collaboration, an initiative working to prevent wandering incidents and deaths within the autism community (http://awaare.org/index.htm). According to AWAARE, "Because children with autism are challenged in areas of language and cognitive function, it can be difficult to teach them about dangers and ways to stay safe." No kidding, James almost electrocuted our dad this week. Our dad was putting in a new ceiling fan in the kitchen and had turned off the electricity to the house from the garage. When the electricity went off, James was watching TV and yelled, "HEY!" While our dad was busy with the ceiling fan, James made his way out to the garage and turned the electricity back on. He must have watched my dad at some point and figured out how to do this. Luckily, the ceiling fan was installed to the point where our dad couldn't electrocute himself. Just another day in the life.

Val is Back in Town

On Friday James and I were finally back on schedule after a month of me being gone on the weekends. He was content to bake cookies at my house and supervise Mark and I clean. The highlight of the night was talking to Evelyn with FaceTime on my iPhone. James said, "My name is James Boland. Do you live in Minnesota?"

Keep Out

Last night James posted this sign on his bedroom door:

Night at the Ballpark

During the summer James likes to watch his brother-in-law Mark and Mark's team, McCuen's Pub, play fast-pitch softball. He cheers for the team and quotes lines from "The Sandlot". James particularly enjoys the concession stand. Last night he reviewed the menu and loudly announced, "Bud Light is bad. Hot dogs make you fat." I had warned James that we may have to leave the game early if it started to rain. James said, "We are not leaving early!"

James watching Mark warm up.

Mark pitching.



Drop and Give Me Twenty

James tested out a bad word at speed and agility training yesterday. His coach was not impressed so he ordered James to do the unthinkable...push ups. James tried to get out of his punishment with numerous apologies, but they all landed on deaf ears. I don't think James will be using that word again anytime soon. 

Do You Validate?

James videotapes his favorite movie clips off of YouTube onto his IPod, including the scene below from "Tommy Boy". He watches these clips over, and over, and over again. On Monday night James had a swim meet at Roosevelt High School. When he was handed his lane assignment, he asked the Roosevelt helper, "Do you validate?" as if the lane assignment was a parking ticket. I wasn't too surprised to find the quote at the end of this movie clip. 



Summertime

The last month has been very busy for James as he transitioned into summer and started his summer activities. During the week he has swim practice every morning and speed and agility training. Last week in speed and agility he had to run around the track. Each time he passed his coach he asked, "Am I going to die?"

Over Memorial Day weekend we took James along to visit our grandpa's grave. Our mom explained to him that this was a place where we celebrate our grandpa's life, but our grandpa would not be there. When we got to the headstone, James stood next to it and gave a speech that went something like this, "World War I. Jerry went to heaven to live with Jesus. World War II. God Bless." Recently, our dad found James talking to the moon. James said he was talking to Grandpa Jerry in heaven.

James has spent a lot of time with his niece, Evelyn, this summer. He has discovered that the key to surviving the infant stage is a good set of earplugs because no amount of shushing will make her be quiet. 

Out to Dinner

To my surprise, James picked Village Inn for our dinner date on Friday night. He ordered the biggest, messiest item on the menu, the All-World Double Cheeseburger (more napkins please). James came prepared with the following topics to discuss:

• Vehicles in the parking lot: make, model, and year of each one viewable from our booth
• Evelyn's lack of teeth: Did the tooth fairy visit her?
• Nephews: Why don't I have any? How about in six months?

God Have Mercy on My Soul

James' sanity was put to the test with a full house and schedule for Mother's Day weekend. On Friday night, he received his niece, Evelyn, with open arms. However, he didn't like it when she cried and told her to "be quiet" or "shhhhh". It must not have bothered him too badly though because he asked several times for a nephew to be named "Cranky." On Saturday, James helped our mom make chocolate chip cookies and a french silk pie. That evening he got out his treasured high school yearbook to show everyone. He spends time each night pouring over the pages. On Sunday, James came downstairs dressed and ready to go to church, but Venessa made him change his socks because gray wool socks just don't go with black dress pants. After the church service I told James not to change clothes when he got home because I wanted to take some pictures. James said, "God have mercy on my soul." 

More Cowbell!

Last night James found Vania's "Saturday Night Live - The Best of Will Ferrell" DVD. The video Vania took is a little blurry and hard to understand, but what James is trying to spit out is, "I got a fever! And the only prescription...is more cowbell!" Enjoy!

 

Jelly Donut Saves the Day

Any change in plans can cause James severe anxiety and distress, but James showed this week that he has made significant progress in "going with the flow." On Thursday morning, our mom and grandma left for Minnesota to visit James' new niece, Evelyn, for a couple days. James told me, "mom is with the baby in Minnesota." James is pretty attached to our mom, so we were glad to see our dad, James, and Hayden could survive without her for a couple days. James and I were looking forward to going to an Iowa Cubs game Friday night for the Autism Walk Kick Off, but the game was cancelled due to inclement weather. James was disappointed, but it only took me about thirty seconds to get him to agree that making Pillsbury cookies was a excellent alternative. When Hy-Vee didn't have the Pillsbury cookies James was looking for, I was shocked that his only response was, "jelly donut?" That night James asked to see pictures of Evelyn, and when he saw her, he said, "that's James' baby." He is a very proud uncle.

Hey, Baby Baby

James finally got to meet his niece, Evelyn Marie, yesterday. He was having trouble pronouncing her name and called her Abilene and Elf. We never thought James would be able to sit still enough to hold a newborn, but he proved us wrong. James immediately reached out for Evie and said, "Hey, baby baby." He sat still and held her for a long time. James was intrigued by her tiny fingers. He tried to play peek-a-boo with her and read her one of his favorite books, "Green Eggs and Ham". James shocked everyone by supervising a diaper change and throwing away a very dirty diaper! Before the visit was over, James asked for nephews. It was a long drive back for all of us. On the way home, James said, "I'm thinking about Dave Thomas...I'm thinking about Wendy's."